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Yalnızlığa Güldüm Bu Gece
Gönderme zamanı: 08/29/2009 11:00:32




Gece sessizdi... Ürkütücüydü yalnızlık, korkutucuydu.. Oysa ben hiç korkmadım. Sen yoktun ve ben bu yüzden yalnızdım,
Ama sen aslında hep vardın. Duyuyordum, görüyordum, biliyordum.. Yanımda oturmuş beni izliyordun. Hayallere karışıp gözlerimden dinliyordun sözlerimi.. Yaşıyorum işte... Sadece yaşıyorum..


Sen olmadan nasıl yaşanırsa öyle yaşıyorum. Hayallere ne kadar inanılırsa o kadar kanıyorum varlığına. Seviyorum biliyorsun, belki duymuyorsun ama biliyorsun. Hissediyorsun hislerimi. Aşk yine bana surat astı, gülmüyor, bakmıyor gözlerimin içine..


Tutamıyorum zamanı, zaman hızla geçiyor. Zaten sensiz zamanlar hep boşa geçiyor. Gecemi gündüzüme karıştırıp Uykular uyanmalara susuyor. Kendimi özlüyorum zamanla. Sensiz aynalar bile beni göstermiyor. Kızıyor sanki bütün evren yalnızlığıma. İstemiyor üzülüp kırılmamı.





Peki sen ?





Sen istiyormuydun bunları ?... Boşver. Ne farkeder,


Aynada kendimle konuşmaya başlayalı o kadar da yalnız olmadığımı farkettim. Beni anlayan bir ben oldugunu unutmamalıymışım. Zaten kim yakın olabilirdiki aynalardan başka bu yüze..
Karardı gündüzler, Üzgün yüzümü göreli, Güneş hiç ugramaz oldu sabahlarıma. Bulutlar şimşeklere karışıp çıkıveriyor aniden. Seviniyorum.
Hayata dokunan birşeyler var etrafımda diye.. Boşuna. Bütün gürültüler kızgınlıklarıma.


O kadar da kötü değildi yalnızlık. Alışmış olmalıyımki izinsiz siniyor içerime. O kadar küstah bir yalnızlık ki bu.. Yalnızlığını kimsenin bilmesini bile istemiyor. Acıtır oldu canımı.


bir yalnızlığım var sanıyordum. Artık o bile beni istemiyor...


Düşün işte,


Yalnızlık bile benimle yalnız kalamıyor...


Ben alışık olmamalıydım bunlara. Böyle öğretmedim kendime. NE olursa olsun bir parça bile olsun herhangi bir yerden gülme sebebim olmalı..

Gülmeliyim..


Ne sebep olursa olsun,
Saçmala***** gülmeliyim..


Boşvermeyi bilmeliyim.
Bulduysan sende kendinden birşeyler bu yalnızlıkta..
Şimdi sende gül benimle..




Gülmelisin...





Neden olursa olsun.
Gül işte nedensiz sebepsiz


Öylesine!!
Belki de DELİCE..

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Görüntülenen 1 - 2 arasi, toplam 2 Yorum mevcut

Gönderen: magen1234
10/01/2014 07:56:52
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Gönderen: magen1234
04/03/2014 06:30:01
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