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Gönderme zamanı: 02/25/2010 22:06:52

 

GİTTİN

Gittin...
benn, arkandan sadece baktım.
Oysa; söyleyecek o kadar çook şeyim vardı ki...
"Gidersen iyiye dair ne varsa içimde yitireceğim hepsini.
Gidersen sönecek içimdeki ateş
ve bir daha hiç kimse yakamayacak.
Gidersen karanlığa mahkum edeceksin günlerimi
O karanlıkta yolumu kaybedeceğim" diyecektim sana.
Konuşamadım...
Gittin...
Gidişini görmemek için
Gözlerimi kapattım
Öylesine acıdıki içim, tutup koparsalardı kolumu
bacağımı bu kadar acı duymazdım.
Acım yaş olup akmalıydı
Gözlerimden.
Ağlayamadım...
Gittin...
Seni delicesine bir tutkuyla seviyordum oysa
Tutkum seninle olmaktı, tutkum teninde erimek,
tutkum hayatı seninle sadece paylaşmaktı.
Anlatamadım...
Gittin...
Gidişini önlemek için tutmak vardı ellerinden
Ellerim değill miydi her dokunuşumda seni ürperten?
Ürperdin yine biliyorum.
Bir kez dokunsam, bir kez tutsam ellerini
Gitmek için biriktirdiğin bütün cesaretin kaybolurdu.
Tutamadım...
Gittin...
Bir yıkım gibiydi gidişin
Sen adım adım uzaklaşırkenn bennden
Çöküp kaldı bedenim olduğu yere
Nice terk edişlere dayanan yürek bu kez yenilmişti
Bu kadar zayıf değilldim benn kalkmalıydım.
Kalkamadım...
Gittin...
Oysa geldiğin gün gideceğini biliyordum
Hazırdım gidişine,
Kaçak zamanları yaşıyorduk
Zaman bitecek ve sen gidecektin
bennse, gidişinin ertesi günü
Hayatıma kaldığım yerden yeniden başlayacaktım.
Başlayamadım...
Gittin...
Bir şey söyledin mi giderkenn?
"Kal" dememi istedin mi?
Son bir kez "seni seviyorum" dedin mi?
"Bekle benni döneceğim" diye umut verdin mi?
Beynim öylesine uğulduyorduki.
Duyamadım...
Gittin...
Nereye gittiğin önemli değilldi
Binlerce kilometre uzakta da olsan,
iki metre ötemde de farketmiyordu.
Artık yoktun ve asıl bu düşşünce benni felç ediyordu.
Kurtulmalıydım senden,
bu yokluk Duygu (Hissiyat)sundan kurtulmalıydım.
Kurtulamadım...
Gittin...
Unutulanların arasına katılmalıydım
Anıları bir sandığa koyup
hayatı bir yerinden yakalamalıydım.
Bu
Aşk noktalanmalıydı, bu sevdadan vazgeçmeliydim.
Yapamadım...
Gittin...
Bir okyanusun ortasında
tek küreği kaybolmuş sandalda
Dev dalgalarla boğuşan bir denizciyim şimdi.
Bil ki; sevmekten vazgeçmedim seni,
Bil ki; seninle birlikte sevdanı da taşıyacağım yüreğimde,
Bil ki; seni Unutamadım...

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Gönderen: magen1234
10/01/2014 13:36:41
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Gönderen: magen1234
04/03/2014 08:44:10
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